


Elastic Hearts

by Ukume94



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Past Abuse, Protective Daryl, Songfic, past and present tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-23 22:39:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4894984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ukume94/pseuds/Ukume94





	Elastic Hearts

His fist hits me again with the intensity of fire, my legs give up from the blow.  
I fall down onto the tent floor that we stay in since this terrifying outbreak hit.  
How did we ever get here?  
I used to believe once I was in love with the man who stands above me with a bloody fist.  
I once thought that we could work everything out, be that one married couple everyone thought were the couple of the year, like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. I thought we could be one happy family.  
I wanted to fight for our marriage but Ed didn't care. I thought that we were okay, I lied to Sophia, to myself.  
I wanted to work it out, I wanted it so bad. I knew I was getting myself into a mess a few days after the wedding.  
He pulled my hair and threw me onto the bed telling me I needed to do what he wanted, there were so many red flags that I should have listened to.  
"Stupid bitch, you ugly, worthless, no good whore!" Ed screams at me with his words full of venom.  
His fist hits me again this time on my right eye.  
I lay flat on the the floor, my head laying in a pool of my blood.  
I want to give up, I just want to die.  
I try to keep in the tears that threaten to pour out.  
He hates when I cry, he hates when I do anything.  
"You lay there and think about what you did, worthless piece if shit!" He unzips the tent and leaves me alone.  
He's probably going to watch Sophia.  
My heart swells and my tears pour out.  
The first time these people heard Ed and I fight Lori tried to comfort me and tell Shane to keep me safe, I made it clear I didn't want their help.  
I don't trust anyone, I can't. They always end up hurting you.  
I pick myself up from my bloody puddle.  
He may hit me, he may hate me but he won't break me.  
I'm still fighting for my inner peace, I'm still fighting for my Sophia. I would do anything for my daughter.  
I get up off the tent floor and unzip the tent. I walk outside towards the lake to wash away the blood.  
I ignore the stares I get from the people I pass by.  
The lake isn't empty the younger Dixon brother sits on a rock and guts out some animals he hunted. He stops what he's doing to look at the person who disturbed him. I ignore the way his eyes almost bulge out of his head. I ignore the way he looks at me when I don't stop walking into the lake.  
I walk into the lake with my clothes and all. I don't care, I don't need to.  
I walk farther into the lake until I can't reach the bottom. That's when I let my weight pull me down. The burn from the water washing overs my cuts, my mind races thinking about what I'll look like once I get out. I don't care how much pain I'm in, I rub my hands over my face. Pain ripping through my face.  
My lungs begin to burn from the air I don't have. I kick my legs and reach the top. The air filling my lungs once again.  
"Hey, are you okay? Come here." The younger Dixon brother says walking into the water towards me.  
I pull back moving farther in the lake.  
I could see pain in his eyes but anger seems to control his other features.  
He stands in the lake watching me, his eyes roaming around my cut up features.  
"I'm just trying to help." He says his voice full of disappointment.  
I move closer towards him, my feet touching the ground once again. I walk out of the lake to his side.  
His eyes full of pain once he sees all the damage I have.  
"Did..." He lets out a sigh. "Did your husband do this?"  
"I fell. No big deal."  
"You fell my ass. How long has he been doing this to you?" He asks with his voice shaking.  
I keep my mouth closed.  
He's been doing this for fourteen years. The thought of myself cutting my hair in the basement bathroom trying to keep him from pulling my hair, cleaning my blood from the floor in our old house, fixing my shoulder when he pushed me down the stairs, going to the hospital for my cracked ribs and broken leg. I've gone threw hell and back with this man.  
"Has he started on your daughter yet?"  
I usually don't care what someone has to say I have thick skin, I've learned to ignore the pain but his words tear threw me like a sharp blade.  
"How dare you."  
"What? Truth hurts right? If you don't get him to stop he'll start on her too. Think about your daughter."  
My heart feels like its being pulled in different directions.  
"I am thinking about my daughter, I'm trying to keep her safe. I'm trying everything. I don't know what else to do." My tears fall from my swollen eyes.  
I was taught crying was healthy, that it was good for the soul. After marrying Ed I learned to control my tears, I learned to keep them in. He won't see me fall apart,he won't see me give up. I will fight till my last breath.  
As I stand in front of the younger Dixon I feel safe, I feel as if I can cry without him telling me I look disgusting or to get the hell out of his sight. I'm okay to cry with him.  
The thought makes more tears pour from my eyes.  
Why didn't I find someone who cares?  
Why couldn't I have been with someone like him?  
"Please don't do that, I don't know how to feel around women when they cry."  
Maybe I spoke to soon.  
I start walking towards camp when his large hand stops me from taking another step.  
"I didn't say you needed to leave. If you need someone. I'll stand with you, if you need a bed to sleep in, well I can try telling Merle to make room in the tent. I'll keep you safe if you'll take it."  
My mind goes a million miles an hour.  
Ed would kill me if he found out I slept in some other mans tent with him.  
He would kill me if he saw me talking to the younger Dixon.  
I do the first thing that actually feels right.  
I open my arms and lay my head on his chest. I hug the younger Dixon.  
Ed would kill me if he saw me hugging him. A smile creeps up on my face, I would be okay if I could stay in his arms.  
"Thank you Mr. Dixon." I say letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.  
"Call me Daryl." He says rubbing my back with his hands.  
I would be okay if I died in his arms this very second.  
I know I'm safe. In that moment I realize I may have an elastic heart that doesn't trust but with Daryl I know I can let myself trust .  
\--------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~--------  
I sit up in the woods on watch late at night while everyone else sleeps. The sound of crickets and snores fill the night air.  
A light breeze gives my tanned arms goosebumps.  
My one job is to keep everyone safe, to watch for any problems that could pop up, make sure those terminus assholes don't show up.  
I lay my back on the tree behind me and rest my crossbow on my lap.  
Everyone else fell asleep hours ago. I won't fall for the sand mans trick, I won't close my eyes.  
A sound from my right side from the camp clears my mind, Carol walks out from the trees shadows.  
Her body skinny, eyes full of bags, hair flat from the possibility of her tossing and turning.  
"What are you doing up? Your supposed to be asleep." I ask.  
She rolls her eyes. "You really think I could sleep knowing your out here alone. Scoot over Dixon I'll keep watch with you."  
I open my mouth to fight back and tell her to get her ass in a sleeping bag and go to sleep but the thought of her walking away changes my mind.  
I scoot over so she could sit next to me.  
Once she sits I change my posture I don't lean on the tree I don't keep my crossbow in my lap.  
She usually talks about her day or mine but this time she's silent.  
She saved us from those people yesterday and she had nothing to say about it?  
I move my crossbow in between my legs. She has her gun in her hands, waiting.  
I rest my chin on the crossbow and move my eyes to look at her, I usually do this when I don't want her knowing I watch her. I always watch her.  
She's keeping something very secret. She has things that need to come out like I do and if she needs to talk to me about them, I'll listen. I'll help her with whatever it is.  
She becomes fidgety, I know she can feel my stare.  
Why won't she just talk to me?  
"I don't want to talk about it." She says her words quiet. "I can't. I just need to forget it."  
She turns to look towards me. Her eyes pleading with me.  
"All right." I answer.  
I look into her eyes longer then move my stare someplace else.  
The sound of a stick breaking gets my attention. I stand up, my crossbow ready.  
I give her a signal to stay put.  
I take a look, to see who was there.  
There's nobody there.  
Nothing.  
I know there has to be, I felt it. I've survived out here for a while.  
After everything else that happened I know that I can keep everyone including Carol safe. I know I can survive out here.  
I'd do anything to keep this group safe.  
I did a little with Joe and his group.  
Carol, I would do anything to keep her safe. No questions asked.  
I'd walk threw fire to save her life.  
Carol is very special to me, she's been here with me since the quarry.  
I watched her lose her little girl, her little Sophia.  
I couldn't find her, that was on me.  
I turn to see Carol standing behind me trying to walk towards the spot the stick broke.  
I stop her by grabbing her wrist gently.  
I let out a small grunt.  
"Why? I was just gonna check."  
"I don't need you hurt."  
"I'm a big girl Daryl, I can handle it."  
She walks back towards the tree.  
I know she's disappointed, I know she might be mad at me but I want her to be safe.  
I want her life to count, I want my life to count.  
I want our lives to count so bad.  
I'm doing everything I can.  
I follow her to the tree but I stay standing in case, I'll do everything I can to keep her safe.  
The thought of her before this plays threw my mind.  
I didn't know her, I didn't like her.  
I didn't like myself.  
I couldn't like myself.  
I was messed up, I wasn't any good.  
My dad hated Merle and I.  
After mom died he was beating on Merle, once Merle left it was my turn.  
I got it worse then Merle, I'm scarred on my back, my emotions are all out of wack.  
Carol has tried to show me that even my heart is scarred.  
At first I didn't believe her but now I've realized she's right.  
"You were right." I say.  
"About what?"  
I turn to see her eyes full of curiosity.  
"I'm scarred from everything that happened when I was growing up. I thought I deserved all of it. I know now that I didn't."  
"No, you didn't."  
"I'm trying. I'm trying to heal from it, it's just taking me a little."  
"Sometimes it takes years to find healing Daryl, one day you will and you will realize that you will except what happened but you will grow from it. Daryl, I know you won't believe it but your almost there. I've noticed a difference in you since the day the farm went down."  
"I was busy."  
"No, you were healing. You were growing from it."  
Her words hit me in my chest.  
This weight I have suddenly lifts.  
It feels like I can breath.  
Carol places her hand on mine.  
"I've never talked about it."  
"You can when you want to, it helps."  
I sit here and think.  
I want to tell her but I'm not sure if I can just yet.  
"Daryl. I don't want you thinking that you have to tell me now. When your ready you can. Only when your ready."  
She turns and looks at me.  
I could see that her eyes are filled with unshed tears.  
"Carol, what's wrong."  
She shakes her head trying not to cry.  
"Carol.'  
"Its nothing. I'm fine." She says her voice quivering from fighting her emotions.  
Watching her fight it, killed me. I Know something is bugging her but watching her know really shows me she's not doing well.  
She lets a shaky breath out.  
"Carol. You can tell me what's wrong."  
She shakes her head tears falling from her eyes by the movement.  
Its had to watch her lose her composure.  
"Do you remember when we found out Sophia was in the barn? How I didn't want to be anywhere near the truth of what really happened. I'm there again."  
I watch her as her chin shakes.  
"I lost the girls, their gone. I-" Tears fall from her eyes. "I can't do this anymore Daryl."

"Carol, I've seen you go through hell and back. I've seen you struggle, but I've also watched you Climb and defeat your challenges and road blocks. Carol, whatever your going through your going to overcome it. You always do."  
I watch her as she wipes away her tears. A small smile making its way onto her face.  
I lay my crossbow down to the side of me and grab her. I giver her a kiss on the forehead.  
"Thank you." She says her voice quiet.  
"No need to thank me. Just telling you the truth."  
"You want to hear some truth?" I smile waiting to hear what she has to say. "I love you." She admits quietly.  
My heart jumps, those words I haven't heard since my mother was alive.  
She looks away from me her face a shade of red.  
I never had a woman, not just a woman but a woman I care about tell me she loved me.  
I didn't know what to say. I couldn't say anything.  
I turn and look at her.  
I see the beautiful woman I met those years ago, I see the woman who helped me find myself.  
I see the woman who believed in me.  
I see the woman who once used to shriek from her husbands shadow, to the unbelievably strong warrior woman sitting in front of me.  
I see the woman I couldn't and will not live without.  
I take her cold hand into mine.  
She looks down to our joined hands.  
She looks up to me, her eyes filled with shock.  
"Daryl-"  
"I love you too Carol."  
I reach over and claim the lips of my girl.


End file.
